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July, 2006 Types Of WomenTypes Of Women
HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............
__________________ funny storyThere were these two elderly people living in a
Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. One evening there was a community
supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered. "Yes, Yes, I will." The meal ended and with a few more pleasant
exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "What, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me." STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy. GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me... GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?? MAN : You remind me of the sea. WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? MAN : NO, because you make me sick. WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly. Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon". Teacher : "Why?" Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher". Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?" Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition". Teacher : "What do you mean?" Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher : "What about your mother?" Sam : "She's a woman". Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I
be showing?" Student : "Brotherly love" .
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook". Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died". Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time." Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?" Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand." June, 2006 quotes..."Good, better, best; never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best." "An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing." "Forgiveness is love in its most noble form." "Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."
"The only thing bad about a holiday is it is followed by a non-holiday" "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." "Reality can be beaten with enough imagination."
"Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable." "A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune." "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything." "You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her." "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." "The human mind is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound."
"Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers." "Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell." "Philosophy is a study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently." "We do not stop playing because we grow old." "A poet is someone who is astonished by everything." "To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles." "To him that you tell your secret you resign your liberty." "Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns." "Great minds think alike." "One thing you can't recycle is wasted time." "Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you." "If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about ... five minutes." "The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." error message!"The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out..." "WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue." "Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though." "Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue..." "Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)" "General Failure's Fault. Not Yours." "COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key" "Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying." "Smash forehead on keyboard to continue." "Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can." "Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!" "Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted."
April, 2006 death poem(i luv it)...I knew u were hurting although u wont cry, n could see u were suffering , see the pain in ur eye, i wanted to comfort u, to hold u, be with u that day u looked so helpless n frail while in bed u did lay.
i watched as u shivered from a new pain, n wondered how i might have handled th same. i wanted to scream, to shout, n to yell, u said u were fine although ur skin was so pale.
i knew in my heart ur time was near end, n wished i could take u, ur body to mend. i knew that soon God would be ur closest friend, u told me many times that's how it would end.
i stood there watching as each breath came slow, n fought to find courage, my emotions were low. i promised u when the time came that i'd not cry, u never saw my eyes wet, always they were dry.
i held ur hand as i silently said goodbye, n knew in my heart that soon u would die. i stroked ur forehead n said how i loved u, u nodded n smiled n i knew that u knew.
i no longer care, my tears i cant hide, n as i stood there waiting for death by ur side. i knew then God was ur closest friend, u told me many times that's how it would end.
November, 2005 ANYWAY...
October, 2005 before n afterBefore and After Love Here are a few examples of Before and After you fall in love Before - You take my breath away After - I feel like I'm suffocating Before - Twice a night After - Twice a month Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac Before - Saturday Night Fever After - Monday Night Football Before - Don't stop After - Don't start Before - Is that all you're having? After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey Before - It's like I'm living in a dream After - It's like I'm living in a dorm Before - $60/doz. After - $1.50/stem Before - Turbocharged After - Jumpstart Before - We agree on everything After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own? Before - Victoria's Secret After - Fruit-of-the-Loom Before - Charming and Noble After - Chernobyl Before - Feathers and handcuffs After - Ball and chain Before - Idol After - Idle Before - I love a woman with curves After - I never said you were fat Before - He's completely lost without me After - Why won't he ever ask for directions? Before - Time stood still After - This relationship is going nowhere Before - Croissant and cappuccino After - Bagel and instant Before - You look so seductive in black After - Your clothes are so depressing Before - Oysters After - Fishsticks Before - I can hardly believe we found each other After - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you Before - Passion After - Ration Before - Once upon a time After - The end October, 2005 i look at u....I look at you and I feel sick. I look at you and I regret. Stop! I can’t look at you. You feel pride when I look at you. I thought you‘d understand this look in my eyes. Or understand these feelings inside. I have a cause to look at you. You have wide beautiful eyes. Capture me deep deep inside. I just hit around, as I get high. It feels like flying over the sky. Swimming with birds and clouds I thought around these beautiful eyes. It tells me a lot about your life. There’s a misery hide behind these eyes. It is filled with mysteries and cries. Many secrets you hide from people like I It stoles the glow from your eyes But I don’t care and I’m not wondering why. You just hurt my feelings inside. By ignoring me all the time And not give me a chance to say hi. Thank god a few friends of mine. Took me from this darkness side Helped me and brought me to life. Before I lose my mind Now I know you’ll never be mine. Now my wounds will heal. It looks like I've saved. From a devil in human shape Ignoring his favorite game And closing doors on people face It’s like a duty faith. But you know! Forgetting is bliss. It’s a solution for a problem like this. Do you think you’ll always be in my mind? Swimming around in my thoughts I’ll write everything in my chest. It’s another way to forget this. Step by step, I'll put you in the recycle bin. And put to this story an END. The Empty Cup...He went to the other room.. searching for something to wear..
nothing to wear.. " how annoying".. he said !
the room was dark.. with whispers of light roaming near the window..
he felt something strange about the room.. a screaming memory..
a fainted laugh.., and dying colours of joy.
looking towards the window.. he started thinking of that certain memory..
a long.. warm sigh came out.
He slowly started feeling his face..
and whispered to himself
" whatever happened.. to that innocent boy..? "
again.. he sunk into that memory.. where a little boy.. went to the same room
and his mother was sleeping in her bed..
she knew that he was near.. even though she couldn't see him..
she felt his face..
" ooh.. my little boy.. how're you today..? "
he crawled up near his mother's face and kissed her..
smiling at him.. she kissed him back.. and told him that he was a good boy..
and that he will make a great father one day..
she asked him to bring her a cup of water..
rushing towards the small kitchen they had..
and while filling that small cup.. he heared a rustling in the room
when he entered.. a strange feeling struck his heart..
but he handed his mother.. the small.. cup of water..
he thought that she didn't see..
"..mother..?" ..
she didn't see him.., holding that small cup of water..
she didn't hear him, when he thought she was asleep..
he tried.. again.. and again..
but she wasn't asleep.. she couldn't see him.. nor hear him..
he tried to make her drink the water..
she wasn't able to drink.. the cold water was dripping from her face..
he wiped the water with has hands.. saying
" mother here is your water.. drink it please "
he knew.. but he helplessly tried..
the room grew colder.. and the boy was still calling..
he finally gave up.. and ran.. aimlessly.. into the streets..
untill he fell and an old man helped him..
" what brings you here in an early hour little boy ?
he grabbed the oldman's leg.. and didn't let go..
the oldman had his answer.. from those innocent sparkling eyes of his.."
and now.. in the same room.. he can only hear.. the sounds of those strangers..
whispering to each other.. how poor he was..
yes.. he wasn't alone.. at all.. everyone helped him.. especially that oldman..
but still .. something is still missing..
he went to the small kitchen..
and there.. it was.. the small.. empty cup YOU ARE... You are strong
When take your grief and teach it to smile ********************************************** You are brave when you overcome your fear and help others to do the same ********************************************** You are happy when you see a flower and are thankful for the blessing ********************************************** You are loving when your own pain doesn't blind you to the pain of others ********************************************** You are wise when you know the limits of your wisdom ********************************************** You are true when you admit there are times you fool yourself ********************************************** You are alive when tomorrow's hope means more to you than yesterday's mistake ********************************************** You are growing when you know what you are but not what you will become ********************************************** You are free When you are in control of yourself and not wish to control others ********************************************** You are honorable when you find your honor is to honor others ********************************************** You are generous when you can take as sweetly as you can give ********************************************** You are humble when you don't know how humble you are ********************************************** You are thoughtful when you see me just as I am and treat me just as you are ********************************************** You are merciful when you forgive in others the fault you condemn in yourself ********************************************** You are beautiful when you don't need a mirror to tell you ********************************************** You are rich When you never need more than what you have ********************************************** You are you when you are at peace with who you are not ********************************************** WISDOM From Children:· Never trust a dog to watch your food. ——— Patrick, Age 10 ——— · When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. ——— Matthew, Age 12 ——— · Never talk back to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching. ——— Andrew, Age 9 ——— · Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. ——— Rocky, Age 9 ——— · Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning. ——— Stephanie, Age 8 ——— · Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes. ——— Carrol, Age 9 ——— · Don't flush the toilet when you're dad is in the shower. ——— Lamar, Age 10 ——— · Don't ever be too full for dessert. ——— Kelly, Age 10 ——— · Never bug a pregnant mom. ——— Nicholas, Age 11 ——— · When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. ——— Heather, Age 16 ——— · Never tell your mom her diet's not working. ——— Michael, Age 14 ——— · Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. ——— Joel, Age 12 ——— When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. ——— Alyesha, Age 13 ——— · Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do. ——— Hank, Age 12 ——— · Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand. ——— Molly, Age 11 ——— · Listen to your brain. It has lots of information. ——— Chelsey, Age 7 ——— · Stay away from prunes. ——— Randy, Age 9 ——— · Never dare your little brother to paint the family car. ——— Phillip, Age 13 ——— July, 2005 Begining....I can’t breath. This darkness is covering me...Im blinded by all this cold fog that surrounds me like a blanket made of fears... I found my self alone in a darken night. A quite one… with no sounds... A cursed atmosphere...so smeller to death it self... I was alone in the world…nothing around me seems to be alive…no one seems to answer the cry of help that came from the bottom of my heart…I walk alone with a troubled foot steps…and I realized that nobody really will care…if I decided to lay inside a hole and die… I have no one…I belong to nothing… I remember when people used to talk about hope. They said that I should follow the light…but how can I trust my steps when I can see nothing but darkness???.... I’m on my own now…I am my best friend…I am the only one that can take care of me… I closed my eyes…trying to hide… wishing that everything will go away…and I will be save from all the evil eyes that are looking at me… the same eyes that told me that I’m not worth living… Its just a bad dream…its just a nightmare…I kept repeating those words…wishing that I could believe them... I closed my eyes and prayed…that everything gets better… But I had to open my eyes again…I can no longer hide…I don’t want to run away any more… I had to open my eyes…to find out that I’m not dreaming…I’m awake…all what I lived is real…and I just realized that this nightmare isn’t going to stop… The truth is…my nightmare is just beginning… ???......... orichee... |
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